I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
