im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
