The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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