No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
