I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize