You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
