I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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