the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
