I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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