people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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