I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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