Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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