Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Randomize
