I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
