its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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