watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
