Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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