I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
