The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
