Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
