You made me cry and you don't even care
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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