he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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