Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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