We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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