guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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