You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
