I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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