I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The beer is more important than you right now.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
