So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
