Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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