what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
