living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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