it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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