And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
