He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
