i barfeds in our rink
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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