oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
