I'm so fucking centered right now
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
