So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
