that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Farmville is her only friend.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
