you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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