I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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