hotel room ftw
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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