im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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