You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
