Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I understand Curling. That high.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Randomize
