so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
