I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
