Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
