dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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