Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
